Two Halves
by Booshylove123
Summary: Sorry to repost this but the spellings are now all checked over. Howince Angst/Fluff, T rating to be safe.


_**AN: Well this is my first fic on here despite the fact I have been reading all the brilliant fics for ages. Obviously, those fics have insired me and if you do see any similarites to other fics, It isn't at all intentional and all credit goes to you who wrote it! Please review as I would love to know how to improve. Erm... that's pretty much it I guess so...**_

**_ENJOY! Love Jess xxx_**

**_DC: sigh I don't own the Boosh. :( and the song belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls._**

_"And though sooner or later it's over,_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight."_

Why? That's a question I have been asking myself a lot recently. Why are people like me treated differently? Why do people think we're special? Why is it always the people you want to notice you that don't? And why is it that I'm in love with my best friend?

I've been in love with him for ages if I'm honest. I think possibly since I first met him, only, I've just started to realize what love is.

It's the fact that when he says my name or calls me 'Little man' I go weak at the knees. It's that when his hand brushes mine, I have to stop myself from trembling. He never notices of course. Not even when I stay in my room for days at a time after one of our arguments, crying. He doesn't know I cry, he thinks it's impossible. He thinks I'm made of sunshine. Of course, that's the way I like it. If he ever knew I wasn't happy, he wouldn't still say we were two halves, one person. We'd be like, I dot know, but we wouldn't be the same that's for sure, And God forbid he should ever fid out that it's him I'm crying over. That fact that I can't touch him, kiss him, love him. Oh no. If he ever found that out, he'd tell me I'd gone wrong. Look at me, disgusted and run out. Wait.

He already has.

I kissed him you know, told him how I felt. I don't regret it. 'Cos now he knows. At least he knows. I might never see him again, who m I kidding, I will never see him again. I'm gonna miss his moustache, his beige-ness. Him.

So, now I'm sat in my room alone. In the dark. Listening to Jazz. I hate Jazz. I rip his record from the CD player. I smash it. Everything reminds me of him. I thought it would calm me down listening to it. Howard was calm. Howard. I put on my i-pod. Gary Numan. Howard hates Gary Numan. Maybe I should change the song. A song I don't recognize floats out. I could've written it myself. Its so apt. Howard taught me the word apt. He taught me lots of… ARGH HOWARD. He keeps invading my thoughts. I turn the music up so loud it hurts.

_"And I don't want the world to see me,_

_Cos I don't think that they'd understand,_

_When everything's made to be broken,_

_I just want you to know who I am."_

I listen to the song over and over and over again. I don't even realize I'm humming along, still sobbing my heart out. I hear the door click. I jump up, run out of my room. I don't care that I'm a mess. I run to the hallway and there's…

Naboo.

My heart sinks.

"Alright Vince, where's Howard?"

I stagger as I walk towards him.

"Vince?"

I look up, my eyes red and my face stained with tears.

"Vince, are you alright?"

I shake my head.

"Is it… Is it Howard?"

I nod.

"So you told him?"

Naboo knew of course he did. Naboo knows everything.

I nod again.

"And he-"

I look up, almost pleading Naboo not to carry on. He doesn't understand.

"He left?"

I nod and the tears start again.

"I'm sorry Vince."

I nodded again. I didn't seem to be able to talk. The tears just kept flowing, I thought they'd never stop. The door clicked again. My head shot up and I attempted to wipe the tears form my face. Could it be possible?

As soon as the thought entered my head, Bollo came stomping up the stairs.

"Sorry Vince," Bollo grunted, "Howard idiot. Howard lucky to have beautiful Vince"

I was surprised Bollo knew.

"How, How do you… know about that?" I managed to stutter out.

"Bollo just see Howard, by Velvet Onion."

I jumped up and sprinted to wards the door. I didn't care that I was in the same pyjamas I had worn for three days, I didn't care that I had no shoes on and that it was pouring with rain. All that mattered was Howard. Howard. Howard. Howard. His named echoed in my I repeated it like a sort of mantra. Then, I saw him. Stood leaning against a wall, dripping wet. Beige. I never knew how much I loved that colour until I saw Howard there. All of a sudden he looked up and our eyes met. I tried to run over to him, like in the movies, you know, but my legs didn't work so it became a sort of stagger. He watched the whole time, he didn't move, just watched. I tried to act as if nothing had happened, act natural.

"Alright?" I tried to say, but it came out as more of a sob and a gasp for air.

"I'm, I'm so, so, sorry Howard. I never meant to hurt you I just wanted you to know. I, I don't, it was selfish, wrong, I know I shouldn't have but, but it, I couldn't help it Howard. I love you. Always have by my reckoning, since the day you took me out of school an' said GCSE's weren't important. You were right Howard. You're always right. And I always manage to be wrong, to make a mess of things. But I guess that's why it works. Two halves of the one person and that. Only, we're not any more are we? We're two separate people leading two separate lives."

What I'd said suddenly hit home and I understood. I'd never see him again. _Two separate lives._

"Look, I'm sorry." I say sadly and I turn, and begin to walk away, head hung and feet dragging.

"Wait!"

I spin round to face Howard, my Howard.

"I'm sorry too little man."

"Howard, you have _nothing _to be sorry ab-mmgh"

I was cut off by Howard's lips pressing against mine. It was only a short kiss. But it was full of electricity. Innocent and perfect. I looked up at him and saw him smile for the first time since I kissed him.

"I love you, Little man, I guess I was just scares. When you kissed me, I don't know, I guess I just kind of just… freaked out. I'm so sorry. I can't say it enough, I'm- mmmgh."

I cut _him _off this time by placing another kiss on his lips. This time longer, slower more careful.

"_All I can taste is this moment,_

_And all I can breathe is your life."_

So, here I am now. On the sofa in the flat. Naboo and Bollo are off somewhere smoking God knows what and Howard? Well. He's here with me, how it should be. We're together again, two halves of the same person_._

**_AN 2: So there it is. Please let me know what you think!! xxx_**


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